Vulnerable.

vul·ner·a·ble /ˈvəln(ə)rəbəl/
Adjective 1. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

I have never been one to tell the whole world my fears, my heart, my own personal struggles. Call me naive, but with as many people knowing what our family is going through, I'm pretty sure my struggles, fears and heartbreak are all obvious. I'm likely to burst into a spontaneous meltdown at any given moment. Of epic proportions no less. And that leaves me vulnerable (read above definition again).

Those close enough to me know that I only cry in front of people I trust, otherwise those with ill intentions will use it to their advantage and hurt me even more. So now I struggle with learning who is really on my side during this.

Ever since I became a mom I can't seem to control the waterworks. I think it's because even though I've always been one to empathize with others, now it's impossible not to. I can't control it, especially when it comes to other moms and children. I wish I could could control it now, more than ever.

So if you're reading this, please do not view my tears as weakness or see me as vulnerable and use it to your advantage to pounce on me. It's really the only way I can express all the emotions flowing through me right now.

"When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Psalm 61:2

-(vulnerable) Courtney