It all started when Aidan spiked another fever on January 1st. Off he and I went to the hospital. The next day, after a series of events, his fever jumped to 105.2 and I had a really bad feeling about it. High fever + brain tumor = not good. He had a severe febrile seizure. His airways collapsed, he couldn't handle any external stimuli so I couldn't even touch him or talk to him without sending him over the edge again. It took 4 different medications and 2 1/2 hours for him to finally stop fighting. He stopped breathing and was immediately intubated and placed into an induced coma so his brain could rest. Legitimately, the worst experience of my life. I could not stop crying. I was flooded with nightmares and flashbacks of the moment he started seizing. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I still wish I would've done things differently. In the end, he woke up around 4 days later and struggled with walking and talking. It was scary but he prevailed! Never even skipped a beat. Unlike my heart. He has been seizure and fever free since that hospitalization.
March 14, 2014 my sweet little hero finished his chemotherapy protocol. A day full of excitement and thrill....and terror as you realized that the controlled poison he had been pumped with to shrink the tumor, was no longer being administered and providing a sense of relief. It's an odd emotion, very bittersweet. It brings a lot of fear with it. 
April 3rd, 2014 was finally my opportunity to close the most horrendous chapter of my life. Partially. Aidan's port was removed. That port was the reason we were admitted with every fever. It was what took me away from spending time with my girls, my husband, my home. It separated my family and it never got any easier. Good riddance you pain in the ass, life saving piece of medical equipment. I took Aidan down for his surgery by myself so I really had an opportunity to be with myself and God, level things out to a point. I wanted to cry, from every pore on my body, but I held it together because the happiness far outweighed the sadness. For once.
During all of this, I was exchanging emails with our state's Make A Wish coordinator. To send my family to the happiest place on earth--Disney World. To spend a week at Give Kids The World. It should also be known as the emotional breakdown you never expected. To watch as volunteers selflessly give of themselves to children with life threatening illnesses--humbling. The kids were amazing, too. The look on their faces when they saw another character they loved just filled my eyes with tears. In fact, the first full day we were there Mickey Mouse himself was at the village. When he spotted him, Aidan took off running towards him exclaiming, 'Mickey, you're my best friend!!!' Trip=made. There are so many memories to share from the trip but I'm still taking it all in myself. The people. I wish I could've put them in my pocket and brought them home with me :( there's a definite void in my heart now that we're home. And we will definitely be a Welcome Back Family and volunteer for a vacation.
No comments:
Post a Comment